The Closest Feeling to Death that isn’t Death

The Closest Feeling to Death that isn’t Death


Raise your hand if you’ve ever sacrificed physical mental and/or emotional health to overwork yourself into an extremely depressive state of mind that takes days to recover from in hopes to be happy with a result knowing it’s probably not going to be worth it in the end? If a friend came up to you and said hey I’m gonna go run 50 miles and refuse to eat sleep or take care of myself until I’m done you’d be like “No, you doof, that’s a horrible idea!” “You need sunscreen first.” Overworking yourself has such a confusing interpretation right now. Everyone knows it’s not good. But at the same time it’s also glorified. The best examples are in school or work environments. Dude, I had six hours of homework last night and didn’t get to bed until 4:00 a.m. Ya think that’s bad? The other week I had three tests to study for so I pulled an all-nighter and only drank coffee for two days straight. I have not slept for a week my blood flows with redbull and xanax. *claps* *falls* When someone’s driven to work exceptionally hard, obviously, that’s really admirable. But when they start forfeiting self care in place of hard work… …That’s when you start crossing into the realm of pain and uncontrollable suffering. Yeah, but enduring the pain and pushing forward is super strong. UMMMMMMM… Noooo. *wheezes* Admiring something that’s stupid and unhealthy isn’t commendable instead of encouraging it. Tell your brain… “Hey, no!” No! Bad… not on the carpet. Your emotions start to chop and change more your mental health starts to deteriorate. You snap more at things that aren’t big deals, everything feels like you’re playing sudden death mode in Smash Bros. Honey, I brought you some lemonade. *cat hissing* *multiple smacking and crashing noises Everyone is gonna experience burning themselves out in some sort of way. That’s part of life. If you don’t you’re either perfect or the devil, and I don’t trust either of those so stay back I’ve been slowly losing my sanity from overworking myself ever since I dropped out of college, which was… *math jaiden* two years ago. It’s the type of thing that slowly creeps in and you only start to notice it when your insights have already… …deteriorated by 30% and your insanity stat has reached level 10. Burnout is caused by three main variables depersonalization. Where you don’t feel in control of yourself anymore, emotional exhaustion and a lost sense of achievement. Wow, Jaiden! You’re so smart! HA! Yep, you know me! I’ll research anything all day just to educate the people! After a long time of feeling like a very sad shell of a person, I started seeing a therapist. So the first day I came in she just asked some basic questions to get to know me and my situation. And she got to the question… “What would you describe your average daily schedule to be?” and I was like, “All right.” That seemed simple enough. So I wake up around 8:30… …have a small snack working out for like thirty minutes and start working “Mm-hm.” …so I work into lunch and then I go back to work… “Yeah.” …and I work until dinner and then I work until I go to sleep. And when’s that? 1:00 a.m. Yeah, I see the problem now. I was and still am struggling with the mindset of if I’m not working I’m being lazy and the fact that I worked for myself in my own home and and my own boss doesn’t help at all taking a break to play games, but “*sighs* I could be working.” Eating dinner… “I could be working.” Sleeping… *yawns* But I could be working! working, but I could be… working HARDER! I’m not saying this just for you, but for myself, it’s okay to take personal time for yourself! Don’t work your life away! I’ll take a break when I’m dead Frick. Never got to come up with a funny tombstone I asked a bunch of my friends about their experiences with overworking themselves and they’re all like… “Oh yeah, burnout is torture and can go freaking suck a jellyfish!” Their stories consisted of not sleeping for hours or days on end in exchange for more time to work. Denying themselves food or water until they finish something. Breaking for a minute to go to the bathroom only to go right back to work. Snapping at friends or family for no reason. It sucks because these aren’t even uncommon experiences. It feels so good to be validated and admired for working hard. But there’s a slippery slope there of accidentally forgetting to keep yourself alive and sane if you’re not careful. I’m here to save you from yourself! “Wha-” “What! We gotta study for final exams!” No time! Go take a nap! 46% of Americans drop out of college anyways! I’m kidding school is important If you drop out you don’t get to use me as an excuse to your parents. But it’s important not to die… from burnout or in general, don’t ever die. I also asked my friends if overworking themselves negatively impacted their relationship with the end product and there were two different interpretations Some of them said “Holy frick. Yes.” “I hate that thing now!” Stressing and pushing themselves too much made them sloppy and make awful mistakes. They cut more corners and agreed the final product suffered because of the pressure they put on themselves. Another friend (with better hair) described it… …as being a sick twisted reward for unhealthy behavior. Of course… …they were able to finish the project which they wanted but the steps they took to complete it led to painful burnout and… …definitely was more emotionally damaging than if workflow was more evenly distributed. My scientific conclusion? You suffer either way. *wheeze* Here have some tips to not be emotionally damaged for a week after overworking yourself. Don’t do too much of the same thing without any sort of change whatsoever you’re not a You’re not a mindless work zombie and a hamster ball. Doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over is A formula for absolute misery. 8tracks, who helps with animating the videos had a good analogy. So I’m gonna steal it. So say you like chocolate. I do like chocolate. No one asked you. You so imagine you hypothetically enjoy eating chocolate But when you only eat chocolate and nothing else you feel sick that nauseous… …feeling and your throat and stomach that makes you want to lay down and throw up for the rest of the day. It’s the same with anything else. Do more than just work and eat hypothetical chocolate all the time because otherwise… R.I.P. Take time for self-care! Yeah, it sounds generic and straightforward. So then do it you dummy! Spend time with yourself, do something that’ll refuel your juice tanks when you’re running on empty… …you got to take time to fill the tank back up to full, don’t just try to avoid the inevitable by pouring a little cup… of gas in and hoping that’ll tie you over. ENJOY YOURSELF! Not yelling at you. I’m yelling at me because I still have a really hard time with that one. Take a shower. You’ve probably been working for five days straight. Take a break from social media. Sounds cliche… …but it works. Spend time with friends. If you have any… Do some stretches or something that includes moving your body. Exercise equals dopamine, which means less depression! Yay, stick to a healthy sleeping schedule. If you’re a farmer- I am a farmer. No one asked you. you gotta tend to a variety of fields instead of hyper focusing on the same one everyday Push yourself to always be trying something new or focus on improving It’s easy to get stuck in the same grind of consistency Everyone’s a unique special snowflake But eventually your brain is gonna start craving something different and if it doesn’t get anything new it throws a tantrum; You get more excited about things you’re going to learn and get Better at spice everything up if you’re a lumberjack. I am a lumberjack. Well you cut that out You can’t keep swinging your axe continuously at trees all the time It’ll start getting too dull and become difficult to keep going You got to take time to stop and sharpen your tools keep things balanced You can create your best ideas when you’re not stressed and overworked and sad and tired and feel like poop Wait, I thought you were a farmer (no one asked you…) (shh….) Hey, yo, it’s me again, hope you liked the video and as a pack to myself I promise to not pull any all-nighters while making it I’m not sure about any of the other members of the team If they did… they’re fired. Anyway big update I moved to LA! I always thought I would live in Arizona my whole life and died of a heatstroke But so many opportunities opened up to me in LA and I’ve got so many great friends there and I’m so freaking excited moving was a pain and that’s What I’ve really been busy with but I’m mostly settled now. LA still intimidates me because the people here can be a lot But I’m doing my best. I’m excited about the future. I’m excited about the videos I’m excited about some projects in the works. Also school is starting up again Sucks to suck and I wish you the best of luck soldier Maybe you can be the 54 percent of Americans that doesn’t drop out. Anyway. Thanks for sticking around and bye

100 thoughts on “The Closest Feeling to Death that isn’t Death

  1. But I like working. I like the feeling of improving and self betterment along with feeling like I’m doing good :’(

  2. If you like chocolate
    Man: I do like chocolate
    Jaiden: Nobody cares

    If your a farmer
    Man: I am a farmer
    Jaiden Nobody asked you!

    If your a lumberjack
    Man: I am a lumberjack
    Jaiden: WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT!!!

  3. Gaming? I could be working

    Eating? I could be working!

    Sleeping? I could be working!!

    Working?😑 I could be working HARDER!!!

  4. I actually neglected work for a while and ended up better at working faster as a result. I ended up better so I could end faster and relax sooner. Maybe that's just me but it's nice.

  5. bruh idk why the fuck people sleep at 1 am when they have to wake up at 5. are you trying to be retarded or something? school is the easiest thing ever.

  6. One Of the best examples of an actor that overworked because he was into his character so much it killed him is heath ledger he was into his role as the joker so much that he didn’t get sleep

  7. Me: dieing in hospital
    Docters: Im afraid she is brain dead, would you like to pull the plug?
    Me: sits up Sorry i cant die jaiden told me not to
    Everyone in the room:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  8. …. now I’m realizing how badly I’m burning myself out I pulled 3 all nighters and stayed up to 5 am on the fourth day and passed out

  9. For me
    I get home from school with no homework I play video games and watch YouTube and eat when I stop I fall asleep at 4 I don’t even work I’m 14 there’s no jobs so I guess I’m training to get a 12 hour job 😅

  10. Also personal problems can affect your work and throw you into a similiar if not same situation. I carried a problem with me and tried overanalyse it not talking about it at all. I broke down in an unpaid internship and just started crying without a reason. I just layed in bed and cried at home not knowing why. After my third breakdown my advisor and my teacher pushed me to talk to someone. And after that i felt better. I still don't know the reason for my breakdowns (and i still get angry cause of this) but im not an overflowing barrel anymore. SO TALK PEOPLE don't bottle up get somebody you trust and just tell them there is something wrong but you don't know what just talk about everything you can think off. Upsetting things at work, school, your parents or other family did. Dont get to heated stay at a level where you can vent but it is still constructive (if you can joke about the situation GREAT). Because if you work too much and isolate yourself it is not gonna end good.

  11. Teacher: you are supposed to get at least 8 hours of sleep every night.

    Also teacher: BE HERE AT 7:30 TOMORROW OR ELSE YOU WILL HAVE DETENTION FOR AN HOUR

  12. I’m the dude who runs on Red Bull and my blood flose with it in but it’s sweet tea and coffee and sugar and stay up all night and watch YouTube or practice drawing stay up allllll night (sometimes) do my home work and don’t 👏even👏turn it👏in👏 I hate my self

  13. I sort of overwork myself by playing splatoon. 24/5 (I enjoy myself on Saturday and susday) AND I only do it cuz I make around $700 a week competing in tournaments

  14. Everyone: bruuh school / university robs me of my sleep that's disgusting
    Also everyone: watches YouTube or plays games until 3 AM

  15. "Hang out with friends…
    if you have any"
    So, no friends means i can go back to overworking and overthinking everything, right? Right?

  16. Hi Jaiden. Great news. I just got myself an Ari. Looks just like yours. Still a baby but it sits on my head or shoulder and watches me play video games. It’s very playful.

  17. I got declared disabled at 32. (So glad I went to college for all that career I wouldn't be having!) It taught me about self-care REAL quick. When your spine is a pain god that must be appeased over absolutely everything else, work ethic can go fuck itself. So can being a "team player" with a "good attitude."
    You're lucky I'm wearing pants.

  18. My homework schedule is weird.
    I work best at around 9-11 AM and I’m ABSOLUTELY WORTHLESS between 1-3 PM. The thing is that everyone just conspires towards me working when I’m bad at it and relaxing when I’m good at working. I could be so productive if school was a few hours later.
    Also I suddenly become incredibly smart if I kinda need to go to the bathroom. Trust me it WORKS.

  19. I definitely wasn’t about to do all the things in this video like pull an all-nighter two nights in a row to finish homework while eating only chips for sustenance so that I would have time for all of the work I’m scheduled for this week… Okay, fine I’ll only do one all-nighter.

  20. when she started to talk about working I thought "same". I am in middle school and my older sister is shy but smart and is a awsome at running and the teachers that I got were her's before so now they think I am her so they are different with me than the other kids .I try to be like my sister and once I told the teacher if I could do two book reports and she told me that I could save the other one for next semester .I am doing one then but they still treat me like my sister, as if we were the same.btw I am in 6th grade and have not ever owned a phone so this is my parent's phone and this is not saying that my sister is rude ,she is great and should not change.

  21. when she started to talk about working I thought "same". I am in middle school and my older sister is shy but smart and is a awsome at running and the teachers that I got were her's before so now they think I am her so they are different with me than the other kids .I try to be like my sister and once I told the teacher if I could do two book reports and she told me that I could save the other one for next semester .I am doing one then but they still treat me like my sister, as if we were the same.btw I am in 6th grade and have not ever owned a phone so this is my parent's phone and this is not saying that my sister is rude ,she is great and should not change.

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