Trump’s 2,000 Lies – A Documentary

Trump’s 2,000 Lies – A Documentary

THE PRESIDENT, BY THE WAY REACHED A MAJOR MILESTONE YESTERDAY. I DON’T FEEL LIKE THIS HAS GOTTEN ENOUGH ATTENTION. ACCORDING TO THE “WASHINGTON POST,” WHICH HAS BEEN KEEPING TRACK I GUESS, YESTERDAY TRUMP TOLD HIS 2,000th LIE SINCE TAKING OFFICE. [ LAUGHTER ] HAPPY LIE2K, EVERYBODY. [ LAUGHTER ] 2,000 LIES IN 11 MONTHS. HE’S […]

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Alec Baldwin Drops His Pants to Prove His Weight Loss

Alec Baldwin Drops His Pants to Prove His Weight Loss

-Last time you were here, it was your birthday. Do you remember that? -Yes. -And we retired — -Oh, do I remember it. -We retired you to the rafters. -Yes. -And we actually — We lifted you up in the air. -It was a beautiful experience. -Yeah, it was. -It was. It was really a […]

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Jimmy Kimmel Returns with Baby Billy After Heart Surgery

WELL, HI, I’M JIMMY. AND THIS IS BILLY. I WAS OUT LAST WEEK BECAUSE THIS GUY HAD HEART SURGERY. BUT LOOK, HE’S FINE, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] HE MAY HAVE POOPED, BUT HE’S FINE. I WANT TO THANK CHRIS PRATT AND TRACEE ELLIS ROSS AND NEIL PATRICK HARRIS AND MELISSA McCARTHY FOR FILLING […]

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Mean Tweets – Hip Hop Edition

Mean Tweets – Hip Hop Edition

I don’t think anyone deserves to be kicked in the ballsack in any circumstances. I think that you should take these violent thoughts and place your energy somewhere a little more productive. Well, everybody’s entitled to their own opinion, so I’m not mad at that [BLEEP]. Yep. Yes, I still have my braids. They’re never […]

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Jimmy Kimmel Tells His Daughter He Ate All Her Halloween Candy

Jimmy Kimmel Tells His Daughter He Ate All Her Halloween Candy

THIS IS FUN. EVEN THOUGH JIMMY ISN’T HERE WITH US TONIGHT, HE RECORDED A LITTLE SOMETHING THIS MORNING WITH HIS DAUGHTER BABY JANE. AND HE WANTED US TO SHARE IT.>>Jimmy: JANE, I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. >>WHAT?>>Jimmy: LAST NIGHT WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING, MOMMY AND I ATE ALL YOUR HALLOWEEN CANDY.>>WHAT? OH-OH. BUT I […]

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Slow Jam the News with Senator Kamala Harris

-Last week was the third Democratic debate, where 10 presidential hopefuls went head-to-head. You know, I was actually going to make a joke about this story, but I don’t think it needs a joke. I think it needs to be slow jammed. You know what I’m talking about, Tariq? -Yeah, Jimmy. I think you’re saying […]

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Round 3 of Jimmy Kimmel’s Health Care Battle

Round 3 of Jimmy Kimmel’s Health Care Battle

IF YOU’VE BEEN WATCHING OVER THE PAST FEW DAYS, AND YOU HAVEN’T, I’VE FOUND MYSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF A BATTLE OVER AMERICAN HEALTH CARE. AFTER MY SON BILLY HAD OPEN HEART SURGERY AT THE END OF APRIL, THE SENATOR BILL CASSIDY FROM LOUISIANA CAME ON OUR SHOW, MADE SOME PROMISES AND ASSURANCES THAT HE […]

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Jimmy Kimmel on Bill Cassidy’s Health “Care” Bill

Jimmy Kimmel on Bill Cassidy’s Health “Care” Bill

HE KNOW YOU’LL FIND THIS HARD TO BELIEVE BUT A FEW MONTHS AGO AFTER MY SON HAD OPEN HEART SURGERY, WHICH WAS SOMETHING I SPOKE ABOUT ON THE AIR, A POLITICIAN, A SENATOR NAMED BILL CASSIDY FROM LOUISIANA, WAS ON MY SHOW AND HE WASN’T VERY HONEST. IT SEEMED LIKE HE WAS BEING HONEST. HE […]

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Senator Elizabeth Warren on Health Care & Minimum Wage

Senator Elizabeth Warren on Health Care & Minimum Wage

I got you a present. I made– I designed you a shoe. Whoa! I’ll give you that later. You don’t have to carry it around. From a good Massachusetts company. Oh, is that right? Someone’s from Massachusetts. What brings you to Los Angeles? What are you up to? Well, I have grandkids out here. Oh, […]

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Jimmy Kimmel’s Emotional Weekend Over Health Care Battle

Jimmy Kimmel’s Emotional Weekend Over Health Care Battle

I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD WEEKEND. I HAD AN EMOTIONAL WEEKEND, FOR SURE. AS YOU MAY KNOW, I WOUND UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NATIONAL HEALTH CARE DEBATE AFTER — I KNOW IT’S RIDICULOUS, BUT AFTER A SENATOR, SENATOR BILL CASSIDY OF LOUISIANA WHO WAS ON MY SHOW IN MAY AND PROMISED A […]

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