If Every Famous Diet Idea Was Honest – Honest Ads

If Every Famous Diet Idea Was Honest – Honest Ads


Would you like to be able to eat your favorite foods and still lose weight? Well, if you buy my pattented diet program membership or diet app or pre-packeged diet food thing or whatever diety diet diet stuff I ‘ll tell you that you can and you ‘ll believe me. Hi, I’ m Roger and you ‘re going to pay me to help you lose body mass for a brief period of time in an unhealthy way just to gain it all back and then you ‘ll pay me to do it again! Don’t believe me? Talk to our celebrity spokesperson from a TV show that was big in the 90’s. She was once an icon but society doesn’t embrace ageing so now her job is to get smaller in size, right? Hi! I was a famous person in the past and now I get paid $33,000 per pound I lose to say things like “I love and use this product” I LOVE AND USE THIS PRODUCT! Hmm! Chemicals! Wonderful. Just wonderful! You see, the average celebrity who we hire to lose weight with our programm makes between 500,000 and 3 million dollars for depleting fat using our programm. What a great gig! Next fast food companies will glom on to whatever new eating habits we’ re selling to you. Gluten-free , low carb, you name it! Like this average Joe, who only ate sandwiches for three years. Fast food will claim to be on board the diet train thanks to him It wasn’t that product that made him too small to fit into his pants. He just stop eating unhealthy amounts of food. Τechnically, you can stuff any amount of edible items into your talkhole as long as you limit it. But it won’t make you healthy. and the sandwich company doesn’t care. They ‘ll market the crap out of his shrinkage unless he reveals he ‘s a skeezebag. Then they ‘ll drop him faster than you can say “It’s not healthy to lose that amount of weight that quickly just by eating sandwiches.” Anyway, beat it monster. But if these celebs and average Joes don’t do it for you we ‘ll just shame you, shame you for ingesting anything it’s outside of our program. Because that’s being bad, naughty, or unhealthy But if you eat my fat-free sugary chocolate-covered stale puffed rice snack bar then we’ll applaud you. In fact, our entire program will be designed like a video game, where you get badges and reward points for getting in shape. We ‘ll even make apps where we’ll track your steps exerecises, everything you eat , your location, you know, like a super creepy Big Brother-type thing And we ‘ll make you think you can exercise away that late night cupcake you crushed inside your saliva maker last night, because my carbage puffed bar made you crave sugar. But you cannot jazzercise that cupcake , -which is fine for us- because we have a badge for that too. Look at that neat badge, it’s distracthing and fun, because if didn’t give you some
sort of cutesy badge or virtual high-five you ‘d get bored and defeated. And we don’t want you bored and defeated, we want you to keep giving us money forever, as your body shape morphs back and forth. By the way,the rice puffed bar is now unhealthy but try our new, gluten-free full-fat
paleo square of crusty meat. See how we keep changing
what’s considered good for you? That’s how we get it because a hundred and eight million people are dieting just in the US, and they try and fail, and try and fail four or five times a year. Then if you do lose weight 95% of you will gain it back within 3 years. We deliberately design our program for failure. However, if you earn that weight back it’s YOU who failed, not our program, never our program. You ‘re a failure because you can’t maintain an unrealistic masticating and exercise pattern for the rest of the time you spend breathing. Oops! Looks like paleo bars aren’t good any more Now you should buy my liquid diet, you ‘ll literally piss out your poop hole All because your body is freaking out and doesn’t know what to do. It’s going into starvation mode since you keep switching unheathy diet to unhealthy diet making it harder for you to lose weight Your body is just trying to keep you from starving, but we helped you develop a complex about feeding yourself. It’s something you have to do or you’ll die. And I sell you strategies and products that make it seem legitimate to starve yourself on and off but if you really wanted to get healthy you ‘d just eat moderately and exercise moderately and accept that your body will never be what you deem as perfect. But we’ ll never tell you that. Come on, go ahead and eat my grain-free vegan paleo
allergen-free raw non-solid bar it’s $25 and I guarantee you’ll lose weigth eating it.

100 thoughts on “If Every Famous Diet Idea Was Honest – Honest Ads

  1. I developed an eating disorder due to child abuse at home. I have tried most everything. So after 30 yrs I can tell you this man has it right. It robbed me of my life and everyone blamed it on me. I have only recently realized I can't shame myself for eating. I HAVE to! Treat yourself and your body well. Love it.

  2. “But if these celebs and average joes don’t do it for you, we’ll just shame you.” I’m CRYING 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  3. America has an obesity problem. There are hundreds if not thousands of companies that will take advantage of that.

    If you want to lose weight it's as simple as cutting back on sugary and processed foods. But you can only do it gradually otherwise your body will start freaking out.

    Next step is don't consume more than your body plans to burn off.

    Lastly, just so some physical activity a few times a week.

    There, now pay me hundreds of dollars for my advice

  4. Chicken, Fish, any vegetable, and vitamin, mineral, or regular water plus 30 minute walk every day. Congrats your on the path to losing wait just dont overeat these items. The low carbs will make you tired so get your 8 hours if possible. Low carbs will cause your body to burn fat for energy instead. It wont be fast but if you limit how much you eat and stick to these foods as much as possible you should lose weight.

  5. Are your videos actually targeted for specific ads

    Watching car ad debunk and i get ad for a car.
    Watching supermarket ad debunk and i get ad for a supermarket.
    Watching fast food ad debunk and i get ad for fast food.

  6. Eat breakfast every day. No, a piece of cake is not breakfast. Make sure to include salads in 2 of your meals (I chose breakfast and dinner).
    DO eat some sugar, because if you won't you'll eventually break and stuff way too much of it into yourself at once. Just limit your sugar intake to a reasonable amount between meals. Sugary drinks obviously DO count as sugar, so if you drank those you've likely passed the daily sugar limit.

  7. "I sure do love spending a significant portion of the only life I will ever have, with the only society I will ever be in, eating things that don't make me happy in any form to try and raise my social image to people who really don't care about me but think that doing this exact thing will raise my opinion of them, but really neither of us remotely care about eachother and we just talk about our truly depressing lifestyle as if we actually liked eachother!" -Someone who you will never know beyond a persona on a fake series of websites and sub-websites.

  8. Lost almost 115lb, try for years to lose weight tried every diet possible. I found out that I had a sleep disorder (narcolepsy), so after treating that, I just simply ate a normal healthy diet, Lots of greens vegetables, lean meat and no sugary drinks. Exercise a half hour a day and that was all. Lost it all in a little over a year..

  9. Yes. Food is made of chemicals. It's not a ground-breaking discovery, cracked. We've known that for 300 years.

  10. I lost 30 pounds of fat over six months by hiring a personal trainer and following a diet and workout regiment from him.

    Since then, I've gained back 15 pounds, but that's because I was satisfied with my level of fat and wanted to focus on building muscle.

    The first month is the toughest, but it gets a lot easier over time.

  11. I lost 20 kilo, I am still slightly overweight but I think at least this is sustainable… I can't just live for starving myself.

  12. Roger is right – I've tried absolutely EVERYTHING (apart from diet and exercise), and nothing seems to work….

  13. My stepmom is one of those people who falls for fad diets over and over again and won't stop drinking wine whenever she participates in any kind of social event, especially holidays or date nights with my dad or when they eat together(which is quite often). And she's too prideful to accept the diet advice I give her or admit to the faults in her fad diets or to give up her vices and stop drinking so much freaking wine and sangria, and she keeps giving herself excuses and pretending she drinks less and eats less snacks than she really does. And as much as she claims to want a comprehensive guide to nutrition like a video course, a book, or something low cost that she could reasonably come across, she never seems to actively seek it out and always claims to be too busy(even when she plans social events with her friends and watches TV for a couple hours or something). Every now and then she'll come to me for advice, and sometimes even follow through on it, but she doesn't want to do anything that would require dedication or take her out of her comfort zone or to admit her mistakes, she wants to lose weight but also wants to drink, eat cookies, have cakes, and pies, and pastries, and chug a few smoothies or eat a few salads here and there and hope it'll balance everything else. She's like the kind of person who asks for advice and then when you give it to them they either reject and dismiss it outright or just plain don't follow it and either do the exact opposite of the advice you gave them or continues to do what they were already doing. It's so irritating to deal with.

  14. Do: If Horton’s honest ads were honest.

    “Hi, I’m here to discredit some product so you can have a negative yet authentic view of consumerism and Capitalism and make you feel like you’re manipulated by advertisements, because you are.”

  15. You know what? Fuck this Keto diet. I'm sick of it. Yeah, I lost weight with it. But i'm tired of eating the same thing everyday for the rest of my life.

  16. Can one Cracked video counter the thousands upon thousands UPON THOUSANDS of youtube videos that infect the net . . . . . . Cracked hopes not.

  17. I love this guy hahaha he tells the truth and tells it funny..
    This one hots home with me because i was close to 300 pounds several years ago and i realised that just eating healthy and staying actively working i dont evven exercise unless i count my job as exercise but i maintain 180 to 185

  18. Every diet that works is just CICO in a trenchcoat. Some people just find different trenchcoats more enjoyable.

    Also a lot of them are just anorexia with extra steps (looking at you fasting community)

  19. If you watched this because you are disappointed about diets, look for Dr. Jason Fung in YouTube, your library / bookstore , the Internet. Follow his advise which is not a diet become as healthy as you can be and spread the word to cure humanity from diabetes and obesity.

  20. I just had the fourth doctor tell me to go gluten free, Dairy free, caffeine free, and don’t eat anything white or yellow except cauliflower and squash. I’m not there yet. He’s right. It feels like you can’t eat anything.

  21. Roger! I have to hand it to you. You are sleazier than I was 20 Years ago. Sleazy, lying bastard. But! WHO CARES? We just assist the Client and the Accounts Department with our "UN-ADJUSTED" payments in order to ensure we flight More Bull Shit (Tax Deductible) like This piece of crap! I love it because You Pay Me To LIE! And you Love It! Fantastico! Another Martini, please..

  22. This is because the US Media often depict muscular men and skinny women as being in "perfect health", these diet programs are absolutely nothing but money scams, designed to cheat people out of their money, especially those who are so pre-occupied on changing the way they look on the outside, they will do anything and everything. Well done, Cracked.

  23. It's the truth I'm sorry people there is no easy fast way to lose weight it's a lot of hard work and watching what you eat

  24. Eat organic fruits and veggies and organic meet only in the right proportions, drink water only, exercise 1 hour a day for atleast 5 days a week and boom, your weight will fall off! This worked for me and many others I know

  25. my wife lost almost 60 lbs total after marrying me. I obviously loved her at the weight she was at cause i married her while she was "husky" (her word, not mine), but i was honest with her. She'd ask what kind of diet she should be on and I'd tell her pretty much what this video is telling you: workout and eat healthy most of the time and you'll find your ideal weight.

  26. Just find food that you enjoy that will help you be consistent at keeping a caloric deficit (trust me there is something out there for everyone). Stay hydrated, get good sleep, regularly exercise. Most importantly just stay consistent. Stop overthinking everything like there is some sort of secret to losing weight. It literally is calories in vs calories out. Steadily eat healthier foods that you can adjust to. For example, if you drink coca cola all day. Swap some out for gatorade. Then swap some more out for water and you find it much easier to stick with it.

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